Curly Girl Haircare

When we set out to adopt hair care was absolutely the LAST thing on our minds. I always thought it would be lovely to have a daughter with curls. I'd always been drawn to curly girls. When we found out about our daughter we literally had weeks before she arrived. I was excited because her beautiful birthmother had amazing coloring and she told me that her hair was naturally very curly. I shared with her that I had always wanted a daughter with curls and I think that it meant a great deal to her to hear that. In truth I have a journal entry describing what I pictured our daughter would look like a year or so before we ever started looking into adopting again. The description was tan skin, almond shaped brown eyes and chocolate brown curly hair. Sound familiar?

My Princess is everything I ever hoped for in a daughter. Those curls, I adore them. I love her hair! She's unique and beautiful and amazing.

Now...it can be a lot of work at times. For this fine haired momma I find it a bit of a challenge. But, lets face it, momma loves a challenge!

Mighty Mike and My Princess with a Deep Conditioning Treatment on.

Now, I don't do anything with My Princess's hair without major research and advice from hairdressers, friends and (strangers in the mall who have my daughter's hair type). I have done A LOT of different things and I will tell you what has worked, and what hasn't. 

• Curly hair does not need to be washed more than once a week (if that). I know that to us fine haired people that sounds crazy but it is really true. Curly girls need the natural oils to keep their scalp and hair moist.
• You CANNOT brush through curly girls hair when it is dry. I don't even advise it when it is wet without some sort of conditioning treatment because you will break hair and hurt your daughter's head trying to push a brush through corkscrews.
• Doing twists or braids will help with hair growth and elongate curls

Here are some of the products that we have used that have failed:

Carols Daughter-

 this line while it may work for some made my daughter's scalp dry out and flake. She also developed a rash on her neck. It is "all natural" however it is heavily scented.

Aubrey Organics-

I was really not impressed with this product for curly girls and I really wanted to be. Again it is heavily scented and itchy on My Princess's scalp. I do love their products, just not for DD.

Some of my favorites products are:

Curls Quenched Curls works well for tight curls when used on wet hair for combing or styling. It is light and doesn't make hair crunchy. It is probably lower on the list for it's conditioning but I love the scent. It's pineapple-y and really Yummy. I also like their styling lotion for setting hair in braids and also for piggy-tails.












Mop C-System Curl Defining Cream was an OK product. It does work well as a detangler but it is not my favorite. The smell is a light citrus scent and isn't too strong. Sometimes I can find this product at TJ Max.



















Kinky Curly Custard is really pretty awesome stuff. I buy several products from this line and they are only available locally at Whole Foods. It is pricey, but if you have a Whole Foods close by it is a great product for detangling, moisturizing and styling.














I have to say that my favorite products so far have been the Deva Curl Collection. The products themselves are great and affordable but the thing I love about the Deva Curl Collection is that it is a whole system that teachers proper curly haircare. It is simple, natural and the results are really beautiful. Here are some clips that show how to use Deva Curl:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ssKMFXI1Fg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0BMVAXmZ6U



These Youtube video's I love because they show how to handle ethnic hair, however please NEVER use those products that are full of chemicals on your DD's hair. Natural products can be much more effective and won't strip your DD's hair or expose her to harsh chemicals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax1-xHe_tvo&feature=channel

Here is a link to a blog that talks about biracial hair-care: http://treasuresfortots.blogspot.com/2009/08/biracial-hair-care.html
I like many of her tips however My Princess has more of a corkscrew curl and her hair is a bit more complicated to style.

Here is our daily regimen now:

1. Wash once a week with a possible cream rinse (condition and rinse) if she gets something sticky or messy in her hair between washes.
2. After bath use either TRESemme Naturals  Sulfate Free Conditioner or Deva Curl One Condition to hydrate curls. I will very liberally condition by sections and comb or brush through to detangle. 
3. Use the Deva Arc Angel or Curls Styling Lotion. I scrunch her curls with the product and then leave it alone to dry.
4. If I'm putting her hair up or twisting/braiding it I will section it out before putting anything on it and then moisturize and put style product directly on each section then twist or braid. Same is true if I am doing pigtails. 

If her hair is dry (in between washes), I will  use a water bottle maybe with a drop or two of jojoba oil or lemongrass oil to wet her hair completely before combing or brushing. Then I will use conditioner like Deva One as a leave-in.



Do you have any products tips or style tips? I'd love to hear from you!

Birthday Cake! Lemon Chiffon Cake

Lemon Chiffon Cake With Lemon Buttercream Icing and Lemon Curd Filling ( or as I like to call it Tres Lemon Cake)

Printer Friendly Recipe

Cake:

• 1 3/4 cups cake flour 
• 1 Tbs baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup canola oil
• 6 egg yolks
• 1 Tbs lemon zest and juice of 1 lemon
• enough Sprite or Sierra Mist to add to lemon juice to equal 3/4 cup liquid
• 6 egg whites
• 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 jar lemon curd (for filling)

Icing:

• 1 cup unsalted butter
• 1 pound (one box) 10x powdered sugar
• juice and zest of one lemon
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 4 Tbs heavy whipping cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and Flour your pans. I used two ten inch round pans, you can use square, or 8 inch pans.

In a large bowl combine flour, baking powder, salt and 1/2 c sugar. Add oil, egg yolks, sierra mist, lemon juice and zest. Beat with a whisk until smooth (or use mixer). 

 In a small bowl, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until peaks form. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar, and beat until stiff and shiny peaks form.

Fold 1/3 of the whites into the batter, then quickly fold in remaining whites until no streaks remain. 

Turn into greased pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes. Time of cooking depends on the size and shape of pan. My cakes cooked in about 45 minutes for 10 inch rounds. 

For the Icing:

Beat the butter until smooth. Add powdered sugar (make sure the mixer is off) and slowly blend until creamy and well combined about 2 minutes. Add zest, juice, vanilla and whip for an additional minute. Add 4 Tbs. heavy whipping cream and whip for about 2-3 minutes until light and fluffy. To darken the icing to a yellow add a few drops of icing coloring (available at Joanns or Michael's).

To put the cake together:

Cool the cake layers completely. Cut them in two with a serrated knife. Layer on round on a cake platter. Spread 1/2 a jar of lemon curd and add the next layer (there will be four layers total). Add some icing. Layer another piece using the remaining 1/2 jar of lemon curd. Cover with final layer and frost the cake any way you like! I added a slight bit of yellow coloring to the remaining icing and used it to pipe around the cake and add wording. Then I sliced a lemon very thinly and twisted them, placing them around the top of the cake. Enjoy!

"Mommy, am I an Alien?"

I know that question just sounds like a silly something that a toddler might say after being playfully bullied by their older sibling or cousin. It takes on a whole new meaning (and sometimes a frighteningly emotional meaning) when it comes from your adopted child.

We have all read the books that talk about the proper way to discuss the biological process of birth to adoptive children. The books all warn you to make sure the child knows they were made and born the same way any other child is born. It seems silly sometimes as an adult but in fact this is a real issue with young children.

My son asked me this question in some form by the age of 3. He wanted to know where he came from. If he was born like other kids. It is hard to explain such things to one so little but I have found that for my very smart and inquisitive child the best way is the straightforward way. I generally explained the process of pregnancy and childbirth in the most appropriate way I knew how.

The result? Somehow I give the impression to my kid that mommies cannot pee because they have babies instead. This is one of those {am I really cut out for motherhood} moments. In the end I think he understood that women can pee, but they can also have babies. Jeez>

After clearing all of that up...I explained that sometimes a woman that gives birth isn't able to mother a child and so she looks for a loving mother to take care of her baby because she loves the baby too much to not give it a proper mother.

I have found now that my son will ask small questions. Sometimes I want to go on and on to make sure he is satisfied. He will simply say "Mommy, that is enough" sometimes. It makes me laugh. Don't we all do that? We want to give them everything they need, sometimes what we give them is MORE than that.

It is hard to know when a child is ready to know more about adoption. If it is part of his/her everyday life it just simply "is". It is OK for kids to have questions, but I try to remember that the most important thing is to be honest when they ask. I sometimes will bring it up with my kids just to make sure they are aware that they can talk about it. I don't try to push it on them but we read lots of stories on adoption and have friends and family who are adopted so the topic will come up from time to time. I love it when my kids ask me "is he adopted like me?".

<3 Sarah

A treasury of adoption related items.

Love Makes a Family... barkingbirdart $17.00	Asian Rag Doll lkdKids $35.00	The Smiling Heart -... Thesmilinghear... $10.00	Little One (4x5 inc... jqueenan $6.00
for this child i pr... ImBlessed $28.00	Born from my Heart ... FourHarpDesign... $15.00	Adoption onesie, S... studioscumble $12.00	CUSTOM Calico Ragdo... BelindasGarden $32.00
Ethiopia Africa Ado... EthiopiaAdopti... $15.00	Mother in Chinese A... DosBesitos $20.00	Adoption T-shirt Zoesmother $17.00	Folded Fabric Flowe... CreationsbyKar... $5.75
Mei mei and Jie jie... flyawayhomeclo... $14.00	Black Rapunzel Prin... eringopaint $25.00	Rwanda adoption t-s... carrieericksen $20.00	CHOSEN adoption SHO... lkdKids $11.00

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Books for Adoptive Families

Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born is a beautiful book about a couple getting ready for the birth of their adoptive daughter and the joy the girl gets from hearing about it over and over. It is a simple way to relate the process of adoption to a child. While it doesn't cover every type of adoption, for domestic newborn, or even international newborn adoption this book would be great!

A Mother For Choco is one of my Favorite books for kids about adoption. The story is about a little bird who is looking for his mother and finds a mother in a bear who has several other children including an alligator a hippo and a pig. They are all different but what joins them as family is love. So sweet and a great way to explain to children that what makes a family is love. 

I don't Have Your Eyes is a simple book about being different but bonded through love and life. This book was very useful when my son started asking why he and his sister have different skin. 

The Red Blanket is a story about a single woman who wants very badly to be a mother. The story tells about her adoption of a daughter from China. The story is touching and real. The illustrations are lovely. I think this book applies to any adoptive family in a way but especially families who adopt from China.

Todd Parr Is pretty much your go to children's book author for dealing with transracial adoption. He has several books about accepting others including It's Ok To Be Different. The book is illustrated in bright colors and simple images that make for a great read for babies and toddlers. 

This book is so sweet! Perfect for families like mine with a beautiful curly girl. My Princess has the most beautiful hair but sometimes she needs encouragement and compliments because her hair is so different from mine. This book is a great tool to help your curly girl feel good about herself.

Here is another great book for ethnic hair. The illustrations are beautiful!

A Brand New Blog

My Journey To Motherhood-
I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I always pictured it- A house full of love and the smell of a well used kitchen. A birthday cake in the oven and my children and I in aprons. Laughter, smiles, messes, sweet memories and fun. These are all images I had in my mind when I hoped for the day I'd become a mom. While my journey wasn't what I expected, I now have those fun kids who love to help me in the kitchen and I enjoy nothing more than to bake them birthday cakes! Sometimes the dream in our head doesn't match with reality. Sometimes it's the fact that the dream is in our hearts that leads us to adoption and  to our forever family.

This blog has been an idea in my head for the better part of 5 years. 5 years ago we adopted our first child. I am blessed to be the mom of two amazing miracles through adoption. My journey to motherhood has been joyful, lovely as well as painful and lonely at times. My hope is that with this blog I can express myself, my passion for adoption and also be a resource for others who want to learn about adoption or share their own stories. I will post adoption stories, treasuries of adoption related gift items and fundraisers. I will have guest posts and just the "stuff" that comes up everyday in my life with my family and friends.

<3 Sarah

Yam and Millet Cakes- Potential Freezer Vegetarian Meal

I was walking through Whole Foods this weekend and looked at their prepared foods to discover Millet Cakes. I was intrigued. I love "cakes" like my Black-eyed Pea Cakes, Crab Cakes and more so I figured I would try my hand at this concept. So, I came up with this recipe and while I think next time I make it I'll tweak it a bit I really enjoy the flavor and texture of it. I also think that if these were flash frozen before cooking they would make a great Freezer Meal! It is so hard to find really tasty and unique vegetarian freezer meals. I served my cakes over spinach, added a pinch of chopped pecans and a drizzle of raspberry vinaigrette for a very yummy and easy meal!

Yam and Millet Cakes:
1 Tbs EVOO
1 cup Millet
2 cups chicken broth

2 yams peeled, cooked and smashed
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbs fresh chopped basil
1 tbs fresh chopped oregano
1 carrot, peeled and shredded
1/4 c shredded Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350.
Add EVOO to sauce pan over medium heat. Add the millet and toast. Add two cups broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, stir once and cover the pot. Allow to cook covered for 35 minutes.
Combine remaining ingredients in a mixing bowl. Check seasonings (there is no egg so feel free to taste away) and then add cooked millet. Make sure the mixture is well combined and then scoop with cookie or ice cream scoop onto greased cookie sheet and place in the preheated oven. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden.

Freezer method:
Before baking, flash freeze the patties by placing the cookie sheet in the freezer. When frozen, place the patties into a Ziploc bag and seal. Freeze until use. Thaw completely in fridge the morning you need them for dinner. This recipe makes 9 good sized patties, for three meals I'd make two batches.

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